Thursday, May 17, 2007

If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?

Good question. Really good question. Mind-boggling, in fact. I thought about another experiment, similar to the bra one, but thought better of it in sparing a cat of many a drop and saving the money on a loaf of bread and stick of butter (I am going to New York in July, after all, and need to save every penny – there is no extra change for a loaf of bread). Then I really got to thinking about it, but even that didn’t help. I came up with outcome after outcome of all the different ways this could go down (no pun intended), and still, even with the below response, am not satisfied, nor do I think I ever will be. Ergo, you get what I have to offer here, as I know I will never fully get out what I want on this one.

If the bread is strapped to the cat’s back and the bread always lands butter-side down, not only do you lose your piece of buttered bread, you now have an injured cat. However, if the bread is strapped to the cat’s back and the cat lands on its feet, not only do you have a safe cat, you still have a delicious piece of buttered bread to enjoy (though it might have a little cat hair all over it).

Now, as far as which one wins – I think it’s got to be the cat. An IT intern sitting in on a meeting yesterday at work tried to explain to me the actual physics behind the cat falling and always landing on its feet, but I am a writer, not a scientist, so his words (though at the time I did kind of understand) didn’t stick with me long enough to remember (or care). I, on the other hand, would like the cat to win anyway – because really, when you look at it, not only is the cat winning, but you still get to enjoy your piece of bread. And who am I to turn down a piece of buttered bread anyway…


(Damn did I struggle with this one. With the number of drafts I went though and the time spent, at work of course, I probably could have edited an entire manual – Chinglish and all. Official Word Count: 345 *sigh*)


In case this did not provide enough bread talk, I ask you this: What was the best thing before sliced bread?

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On a side note: I miss you. Shitty days, or in this case, weeks at work were always made so much better when I could come home and hang out.

1 comment:

Nick said...

I'll tell you what happens:

The instinctive gyrations of the falling cat free the bread from its feline shackles. The bread propels past the cat - landing, of course, butter side up. The cat, not to be outdone, completes the rotation and lands feet down - into the buttery bread. Disgusted with the greasy mess he's found himself in, the cat walks away in disgust...tracking buttery paw-prints through your carpet and linoleum.

As for the question of earthly wonders in the pre-sliced bread era:

The answer can only be dropping cats. How else could we have known to pair these delicious and furry items (mutually exclusive, mind you) into a device of pure entertainment?