How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

An interesting question when thought about, really. I mean, most of us seeing folk probably sit down on the crapper, spend our time doing our business, and then get to the wiping, looking at the soiled toilet paper every so often until we see there is nothing left coming off the tush and leaving its mark on the toilet paper. However, for the blind, they really can’t do this – no way of “seeing” what they are leaving behind (no pun intended) on the toilet paper.

Though we seers have become accustomed to looking at the toilet paper, I presume if we wiped with our eyes closed, we’d still be able to tell if there was shit left on our ass cheeks and would know to continue the wiping process. I believe the blind know they are done wiping because they can feel no shit on their asses any longer. Something to think about the next time we all sit down to go #2. (Report back – I’d be interested to know if we all can actually feel the poop on our butts before and during the wiping process.)

When consulting with Nickolas, he made a good point: their fingers are fine-tuned to sensitivities like Braille. They just know. He makes a good point. Blind folk really are amazing feelers. They read entire novels, newspapers, signs, and placards all with their fingertips and little bumps. Their fingertips must just be able to sense their asses are clean.

However, if we want to take the Sheryl Crow stance on the subject, the blind (and according to Sheryl Crow, all of us as not to use too much toilet paper – I mean come on, while she preaches we should use one square of toilet paper per sitting, she probably uses more than one square anyway) could use a bidet. That way, with all that water pressure, their asses would be rid of shit and they wouldn’t have to worry about the wiping and the checking of the toilet paper.

So the blind… either they feel it on their asses, use their super-fingertip sensors, or use bidets. I’ll leave you to choose one of the three as the most probably.*

Feces are always fun to write about (and talk about – just the other night I was out with some people where a friend was telling a story about almost shitting his pants – literally – it was so funny and quite the story). And now, for you my traveling friend, why are there flotation devices under airline seats instead of parachutes?

* G-d-willing they get it all. I can only imagine the scent that would stream from someone who really doesn’t get it all. I bet it would smell a lot like Sklansky or Roommate Tom. And for those of us who were graced with their odors, we know it wasn’t pretty.