All weekend my dad was pretty much sleeping... he sleeps a lot, which is good. It's part of the healing process. When he's awake, he's in a lot of pain. His throat is sore. They explain it as being sunburned on the INSIDE of your neck instead of on the outside. He can't swallow. He eats only through his feeding tube... and it's all liquids. Seven cans of this protein stuff a day. Vicodin every four hours. He has so much gunk in this throat, but it hurts to cough, clear his throat, and swallow, so he spits a lot. He gags a lot, which also hurts. His tongue is so sore, his lips are so sore, even his teeth hurt. He only lost a little hair -- though it's hard to tell as his hair was already thinning anyway. He's lost a lot of weight -- most of it in his face, but you can tell in his body too.
It wasn't too bad... the entire weekend. Slept a lot and when awake, really didn't complain at all about the pain. This morning though, wasn't so great. Mom get all his meds (liquid to go through the feeding tube) and his two cans of protein drink ready, got his chair set in the kitchen, and he made his way, wrapped in a blanket (he's often cold), to have his "breakfast". He sat down, mom got the two meds in and one of two cans.... and then he started to gag. Not from the food (remember, it's all going straight to his stomach, not through his mouth), but from all the crap in his throat. He starts to gag and dry heave and spit a lot. It's hard to watch your dad go through that -- be in so much pain. I can only imagine, no, I can't imagine, what it feels like. He apologized to me, once he was through, for the sounds and the heaving, because he knows I am a little squeamish -- and in the middle mom asked if I just wanted to go -- but as I told them both -- it was fine and me leaving would make it worse for me. I toughed it out -- just as my dad will. Once he finished "eating", he was pretty exhausted, and sore, from all the gaging and coughing, he pretty much went right to sleep on the couch. I woke him up briefly to say goodbye and had to hold myself together. Said goodbye to mom in the driveway and headed on my way. I don't think I made it past the neighbor's house before the tears came.
He has one chemo and eight radiations left -- then it's on to the healing.
Again, however you pray and whomever to, please keep my dad (and family) in mind. My mom and I are both firm believers... every little thought and prayer helps.
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On a lighter note, here's a bookshelf, that while very cool, I think would drive me crazy -- mostly because the books would be all crooked and hard to organize:
Thanks, but no thanks.
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